Some years ago, I stumbled upon information that changed my life forever. It re-arranged the way I live. I moved back to California and much like my maternal Grandmother in my book Dust unto Shadow, (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35381614-dust-unto-shadow?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=Nzvhd5UOZy&rank=1) when returning to her safety net, instead of finding comfort, there was a can of worms to contend with. It ended a part of my life and colored the way I see everything that has taken place in my life over the past several years. It leveled me up in the best and perhaps worst ways.
For privacy reasons, I will not share more, but my experience is not unique.
I say that because I have a neighbor who always narrates part of her life passages expecting me to validate how unique they are. With the millions of people on this planet and throughout time with every individual story out there, I’m certain someone else has shared her experience. The experience does not define us— it’s how we process the experience and what we learned as a result that gives way to personal growth. Usually, growth is silent it resides in the heart. The mouth or ego splatters it. Real growth doesn’t come from the ego, it comes from the soul.
Everyone can think of a time when you were lied to, betrayed, or fired without explanation, or forced to let go of something you did not want to lose, or when someone you loved unexpectedly said goodbye, or when you knew you had to walk away from a toxic relationship.
We don’t get to choose our new beginnings. Many times they are thrust upon us. And because of that, we don’t understand how beautiful a new beginning is after experiencing devastation.
A new day, a new year, a new job, a new life, a new relationship, a new start—they all come to us. They barge in our front doors with the promise of second chances and the potential of an unexpected opportunity. And they also come with heartbreak because new beginnings follow familiar endings.
I believe the opportunity for growth is the reason why we were given life; to love and to evolve as human beings.
Here are four tips for change:
Start where you are. Don’t make assumptions, research and get a clear picture of what you need to do to make a plan.
Use what you have. What resources are at your disposal? What do you need to implement a strategic plan?
Do what you can. Don’t beat yourself up, take one step at a time and you won’t be overwhelmed. Keep in mind— nothing will happen without putting your plan into action. It’s up to you!
Safeguard what you need. I believe change is highly personal. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
There’s a spiritual phrase that states, “You don't attract what you want, but what you are.” That phrase is a comforting reminder if you want more, or a difference it’s our responsibility to start with ourselves.
It can be uncomfortable, arduous, and painful, but real change—internal change—is lasting.
No matter where you go in life, no matter what you possess, or don't possess, what can never be taken from you is you and the person you become.
Do not numb the pain away, procrastinate, or ask others what to do, make decisions for yourself that are in alignment with your character, because, you have to live your own life, not somebody else’s.
On another note, I’m sharing a song from chanteuse Cecile McLorin Salvant that I saw in concert last week at UCLA’s Royce Hall. It’s a universal song that proves we are not alone in aborting or reflecting on a relationship. That same day my faithful doting companion, Coco Fleur turned 13.
And I've included images from Norton Simon Museum, https://www.nortonsimon.org/ which I visited yesterday.
As a sidebar, I asked the Museum Curator about Simon and Getty being contemporaries and if they ever found themselves at the same auction. I was told they had a gentleman’s agreement to never outbid one another and although there was antipathy among them they respected their word.
The first painting is by Juan Gris. As a follower of Picasso, it's a component of cubism done with vibrancy and poetry.
The Oil on Canvas, "Flight into Egypt", is a Biblical pastoral scene which ordinarily I wouldn't pay heed to, but its composition and fluidity were so pleasing to the eye that I was captivated by its beauty.
The third image grabbed my attention with its intricate detail and lushness. Its subtlety made me feel like I was looking at a photograph. I kept stepping in and out of it.
On Saturday I saw a performance of Incident at our lady of Perpetual Help at Theater 40 in Beverly Hills. It’s a light-hearted comedy. What can be better than the intimacy of being at a play? It’s like watching a story unfold in someone’s living room. The story takes place in 1973, with the main character Linda telling her younger sister about the birds and the bees. The conversation gets taped and into the hands of the Parish Priest at a time when public ridicule could become the ultimate scandal.
So that's it. My change is this; my life is back as I once knew it. What about yours? Has it resumed as good as it was post Covid?
There is so much loving thoughtful wisdom in this post that I want to read it over and over. Thank you Linda!
Linda, as to the reply you sent to J.M. about giving this, up as to be just a hobby. Are hobbies, are not chores. As, j.M said, I said it all. Thank you . By the way. So, Linda, your loved. Yes, ,I'm just one, person who leaves you a comment. Maybe, one person is enough for all of us. Yes, I also said, I learn a lot from this. So, see your teaching one person. Thank you Linda, very much. Please, I hope you keep going for all of us. And, those that won't speak up. Thank you Linda. I love you. You're wonderful!!
Yes, T. Bean said it all! Ditto to you!
What a piece of chocolate this blog is! It exposes me to wonderful places & things, Thank you, Linda!
Linda, your amazing. I'm grateful for this opportunity to explore the museum with you. You're very, good at teaching me. I've learned lots with your blog.I appreciate you, your time and your books. Keep giving to all of us. Thank you. Love and miss ya.