I re-watched Sophie’s Choice about a week ago and was struck by Kevin Kline’s boldness to stand out. He refused to follow the norm and appointed Sundays to dress in costume. I love that concept.
The problem with dressing like everyone else is not only that it is utterly boring but in today’s color palette of white black and gray, it is depressing. Stepping out beyond an outfit that’s considered “normal,” you risk getting comments and will be judged for superficiality or as being an attention-seeker.
I’m sure you have fashionable pieces in your closet, but hardly wear them because they’re not accepted within your circle of friends or society. It can be anything from a colorful hat to a geometric print jumpsuit. Keep in mind, whenever a new trend emerges and you are contemplating trying it, there’s a bit of discomfort from the consensus. I’ll give you some examples. In high school, I would shop at the fashionable Judy’s in Century City, random stores in Hollywood and, the vintage shop, Aardvark. I picked up a dress that was tan and black with a bolero. Black was never seen in those days. It was expensive and sharp. I purchased it a long way from the San Gabriel Valley of my suburban youth. I refused to shop locally because I knew there was a likelihood that other girls in school and I would be donning the same garment. Lesley, an acquaintance told me I should dress more subdued. I didn’t know at the time how jealous she was of me but I did get tired of her judging me when she paid no attention to how she looked or dressed for that matter.
I could write an entire book on the endless annoying situations I found myself in related to fashion. I did recount a few examples in my book, Echoes Amongst Us.
When I was nineteen I was wearing a trench coat and a beret at the mall and I got asked if I was French or gay. I was ready for that one and responded by saying I was happy.
Living in Los Feliz, I wore black jeans, a white oxford shirt tucked in, black suspenders with red flats. While browsing in Chatterton’s book store, I was asked if I was a gangster.
About that time, I had ivory high-waisted pants with an argyle sweater vest that I wore on top of a white tee. I wore my hair high in a ponytail with a red lip and thought the juxtaposition was a mix of masculine and feminine. In my apartment building going to the mailbox, I got the nickname Grandpa.
Because my choices weren’t trendy, I heard a lot of stupid remarks from narrow minds that could not understand or see the value of individuality.
The most annoying aspect of stepping outside the norm is not the comments but if it inhibits your self-expression to wear whatever illustrates your mood and style. Experimenting is fun! When you push the boundaries, you have to feel secure in your choice.
I wish I could say that the solution would be to reprogram people to be more open and accepting. However, the only way you can move beyond societal pressure is to wear your choice with as much confidence as you can muster. That’s what is called style. We can’t rewire society, but building a strong fashion sense should be a joy. And remember that your opinion is the only one that matters.
Watch this video it reinforces what I said about individuality and experimentation.
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