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Forever... No, but Better

Writer's picture:  linda laroche linda laroche

All of us go through life changes.  Here is a list of things I now implement that I wish I had known and practiced years ago.


Don’t seek advice or opinions from others.  The answers are within you.

Please don’t allow anyone to tell you they know what is best for you.  They are full of dung (nice way of saying s---).

Don’t take things so seriously.  Laugh it off.

There’s a difference between being loved and being love-bombed.  Learn it.

Don’t take the sweet guy who loves you because you don’t want him.  Love yourself more.

Men are Alphas.  There are plenty of men who are Betas. Know what you want and whom you seek.

Men will occasionally say inappropriate things.  They never grew up.  Call them on it, and speak loud and clear.

Doing things that scare you will make you stronger.  Trust your intuition.

Don’t waste your time being angry at your parents. When they're gone you'll miss them deeply. Life is a roller coaster.

The lows in life are a part of the highs.  It too shall pass.

You are allowed to live by your own rules.  Analyze what they are and embrace them.

You don’t know who you are yet?  Life is a gift waiting for you to participate in it.

Someday you’ll be old.  Later you’ll realize you are not.

You don’t need to find your other half.  Be that half and become whole.

Don’t hang onto friends.  We outgrow friendships.

Don’t pour your time into a job that isn’t your passion.  Take a leap of faith and express yourself.

Don’t’ regret doing dumb things.  Nothing is a waste of time.

Feeling lost is a part of life.  No one knows what they are doing.

Don’t get unhappy when the plan doesn’t work out.  Delay is not denial. Plans always take longer than you think.

People will show up for you when you show up for yourself.

Don’t be afraid to make decisions.  There is power in taking a stand.

Don’t hold back the tears.  It isn’t a sign of weakness but of strength.

Stop caring if people understand you.  They probably don’t.  Understand yourself and that’s enough.  

Don’t be afraid to discard people who aren’t intelligent.  They are threatened by you. Keep growing and learning.

The word NO is a complete sentence.   If they don’t hear it.  Move on!

People will ask about your children and age. They have very little to talk about if they resort to what is none of their business.

Being married creates love and happiness.  Marriage is not unconditional love. Not everyone ought to marry.

Divorce is a failure.  Being honest and authentic with yourself is never a failure!   

Boundaries are healthy.  Those who don’t accept them… let them go.


You are going to love getting older, you will no longer tolerate toxic relationships, you are going to understand your emotions, you will understand why you are who you are, romantic love is not the only love, you will heal childhood wounds, you will dance to the music and will want to go to music festivals, you will not die of shame over your financial losses or wins, you will love your time alone, you will understand gaining weight (if not a medical condition) is a choice to hide, you are not too old to wear cool clothes.


You are going to love who you’ve become.




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mike.scandiffio
11 jul 2024

Linda, thank you for another insightful post.


Thinking about it the last couple of days, I realized that your "list of things" is a lot more than a list of personal experiential lessons, or positive affirmations, or a blueprint for continued self-actualization, or an action plan for life, or an enumeration of important life lessons. Your "list of things" is all of that and much more. And your list can grow, be reinterpreted, and create ongoing opportunities for insightful life observations and self-reflection.


You also remind me that we all live, together, in an imperfect universe filled with complexity and contradictions and that we must learn from the past to navigate the future in what often seems to be an…


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 linda laroche
linda laroche
12 jul 2024
Contestando a

Mike,

Thanks for inspiring this post.

At one point I considered breaking this piece into decades, 20's, 30's etc. but went instead with a stream of consciousness. Of course, there were so many other reflections I could have added but the point was to get people to think back on their own lives, the choices they've made, and the path they have followed.

Ultimately we see that we only have ourselves to hold accountable for our choices, not our environment, family ties, friends or circumstances.

Whether we evolve as humans or not, that too is a choice. I can't imagine not nurturing an inner life but as I see it self-actualization is a gateway to the appreciation of life.


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