Men & Women

Delineating between Feminine and Masculine Principles

I was recently at a film festival, waiting inside the theater, when I saw a couple about my age, a few seats away, who I sensed were on a date.  I heard the man say, “I’ll stay here, you go get the popcorn.” I noticed he did not hand the woman any money, a card, or his wallet, but stayed in his seat.  I thought, how can she tolerate him? He thinks she’s his mother.  I would have walked out and left him there.

Who can tolerate men who are passive or cheap?  Or, for that matter, those who do nothing when they can.  This lack of backbone contributes to a lack of respect. There’s a time for action and there’s a time for inaction.

I think most women will agree passive men are unattractive and may be emotionally immature and unconscious— asleep—because they’ve never questioned where they stand in the social mores.

We all experience adversity in our lives, but it’s what you do with that adversity to implement changes within yourself that either makes you a winner or dooms you to repetition.

The same goes for women.

Non-thinkers become non-doers, and that’s the worst form of passivity. I know our current times are very confusing, and I suppose boundaries change depending on who you are with. So, I’ll explain here.

Femininity is the embodiment of emotionality, compassion, submissiveness, and sensitivity. It assumes that in a relationship, the person with a more feminine personality will be more receptive and steer the emotional and spiritual aspect of the relationship. Although there are plenty of women who only focus on the physical or material world.  The psychological and spiritual component provides the wisdom needed to guide the relationship into growth and harmony.  

Men often underestimate this attribute and don’t recognize its worth until they lose it. Women will voice dissatisfaction to their partner, that ends up on deaf ears, yearning for compromise and change, but when she’s silent, she’s done, and that’s when the relationship ends.

The masculine partner embodies someone competitive, purposeful, productive, and driven towards ambition and the completion of goals. Those goals may include winning the woman, advancing his career, and focusing on financial growth. 

Those with feminine traits will concentrate on their psychological and physical well-being and their relationship with their partner.

We can slowly start to see how a more feminine persona suits women, while a more masculine persona suits men. Now you might be thinking, wait, what are you saying that women shouldn’t focus on their careers and shouldn’t have hopes for the future, and only care about getting into a relationship with a masculine man? No, absolutely not. What I’m saying is our modern day has skewed our perception of what masculinity and femininity is, sending everyone into a downward spiral.

So now that I have defined the differences between masculine and feminine energy, let’s get down to my intention: why I believe men are becoming more emasculated and feminized.

How Men Have Become More Feminine

I think we can all agree that prior generations had plenty of testosterone. The reason for this is that in modern times, boys growing up and throughout school were told to suppress their natural masculine instincts and adopt a more agreeable and feminine identity. From teachers in school threatening them if they made too much noise to overprotective mothers, who did not let their sons live their own lives, many guys have developed a more feminine persona. And yes, I say guys, not men, because nowadays most guys don’t earn the right to be called men. I know that sounds harsh, but I honestly and wholeheartedly believe it’s true.

Another movement aiding in the feminization of males is the media’s portrayal of the idea that “it’s okay to be weak.” Don’t confuse weak with vulnerability. Weak is not having character, strength or power. Whereas vulnerability is strength in character,, allowing yourself to be exposed while managing your emotions.  Vulnerability is necessary for deeper emotions like love, courage, and empathy. You can’t have love or a deep connection without vulnerability. 

It’s not healthy for men to stay in weak mode. They have a duty to protect, provide, and strengthen the family unit, and the tribe or inner circle needs to trust them.

With more men aligning with the modern populace and not analyzing where they stand, they have moved into a more feminine position. Not only have men become more feminine, but women have become more masculine. At first glance, this might not seem like a terrible thing, but upon closer examination, it reveals itself to be a problem.

With women adopting more masculine traits, they focus on their careers and purpose, leading them to believe they don’t need a man; if they do have one, he can easily be dismissed, which may even lead them to consider leaving or divorcing him. 

I remember at a party some years ago, a woman said to me, “I have my children, I have my house.  What do I need a man for?” This thinking is the root of a materialistic mindset. As if men were a commodity that could be discarded.  Either a sperm donor or a house provider.  This does not take into account the differences between the male and female psyches.  Men should embody a different mindset.  He stands on his own merits. The insistence on not recognizing differences sums up how men are being pushed into a more feminine persona. I also feel society has diminished the role of the father figure, but I’ll address that at a later time.

Why A Generation of Emasculated Men Is A Problem

How many times have men believed the philosophy: go to college, get a degree, find a good job, and after years of hard work, you meet a woman, get married, have kids, and settle down. 

But what they fail to mention is that the moment she realizes you’re overly feminine and doesn’t respect or need you, or has lost attraction or love for you, you’re left all alone, facing the financial responsibilities for your kids' education that you hardly get to see. Of course, divorces happen for many reasons, but often, it’s because the man is emotionally immature and undeveloped. His feminine side is too passive and does nothing or he doesn’t know how to handle conflicting situations, nor does he know how to verbalize his thoughts and feelings as a reasonable adult.

Alternatively, he plays the high testosterone card with anger and tantrums, which will result in her disliking you, and physical relations will suffer or end.

Or he lacks a meaningful purpose that drives his success and fulfillment. Without money, two cannot share a life. All relationships are a financial investment since they yield a rate of return. 

So, that’s it; it’s relationship burn-out because it lacks intimacy or financial stability. In the end, women come to realize they can’t tolerate outbursts and they opt to financially support themselves. If they don’t or feel they can’t they lack confidence and need to hit the grindstone.

The consequences of a generation of feminized boys are not ideal for the world. This leads them to depression, loneliness, and even suicide.

What To Do

Men have a duty to embody masculinity and contribute positively to the lives of those they care about and the world as a whole. Their main objective should be to stop distracting themselves with empty pursuits and discover a purpose that transcends their own interests, to refine themselves, and to understand their inner lives, their motives and to not make assumptions about women, or their lives. 

Questioning and seeking answers transition them from boys to responsible men.  It obliterates feminine guys into ambitious, productive, wise men.

The world is slowly recognizing that maybe what society preaches shouldn’t be taken as gospel, but instead should be challenged and evolved. There’s a quote that resonates well here: (author unknown) “Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.”

We are currently experiencing the “good times,” but hard times are on the horizon, and we need strong men now more than ever.

So the next time you’re left by a woman, rather than believe the next partner will be the solution, you repeat the same scenario over and over again.  SPEND TIME ALONE.  Analyze yourself.  Don’t assume you’re wonderful or brilliant. Talk to a professional, don’t waste your time sharing with friends who don’t know any more than you do.

Instead, ask: What did this relationship teach me about myself? Who am I as a partner? How can I stop blaming her and learn about myself? What was my role,to and how did I handle or avoid conflict? Did I place her needs ahead of my own? Did I step up the plate or was I a coward?  Did I hide or run? Reflect on whether your partner felt valued or not. Did I take her for granted?  Did I truly love her, or was it the idea of her, because she fed my ego?

Women should ask themselves these same questions. Note growth questions are not divided by the sexes but have a few variations, such as: Did I truly love him or was I simply addicted and afraid of losing the lifestyle he was providing?  Was I afraid to be alone?  Do I have the confidence and strength to make it on my own?

Both sexes, after any hardship, should ask themselves: Have I been true to myself?

Did I operate from a place of integrity? No one is a victim.  Everything happens for your souls’ evolution.

So the next time you’re at a movie theater, I urge you men to ask the lady you’re with if she’d like anything from the snack bar and fetch it. Down the road, she may become the mother of your child or even your wife.  Your chivalrous consideration will be appreciated by her and noticed by others.