Respect

I don’t often post on news events but when I read about a 56 year-old-man who emailed about the D.A.’s color of her panties, I felt I would include a few pointers for men to follow.

You can read the story here: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/he-was-fired-over-an-email-that-asked-the-d-a-about-her-panties-he-said-it-was-a-mistake/ar-BB1qvkFx

Initially, I thought misogynist was a strong word to use however when I read about his passing of email to his buddy joking about a female superior and using her as a tool and objectifying her to cheer him up… that is misogyny. Even if she had been a subordinate, it’s inappropriate, bad taste, poor judgment, and not funny.

He intended for only his buddy to see the email but it accidentally was circulated throughout the office.  My question is why does he have so much free time on his hands if he’s at work at the Los Angeles D, A.’s office?  How much are taxpayers paying for his childish antics?

In 2010 my nephew went to study in New York, he was shy of 15 at the time and, being born the last day of the year and educated in private schools he was always the youngest in his class.  I knew his intellect was above and beyond everyone else’s but I was concerned about his emotional maturity, especially when I heard he’d be in a Co-ed dorm. 

I wrote to him often. Here is an excerpt from a letter I wrote:

Boys grow up with rigid, outdated notions of masculinity. One of these is the idea of the battle of the sexes. As boys move into their teens, they start seeing girls not as friends but as adversaries, and they "win" the battle by becoming players and heartbreakers.  Although many boys may not be comfortable with that idea, they may not be able to step outside the box for fear of being ridiculed.

Girls on the other hand get portrayed as either good or bad girls. The reason this happens is that sexism is relatively invisible in our society.  Girls conform to what a boy wants because she is looking for acceptance (that brain thing again) and she runs the risk of being treated like an object. 

The irony in all of this is that it hasn't changed since I was your age.

Remember that every girl you meet is someone's daughter, sister, granddaughter, auntie, or niece, whose life is an extension of God's plan on earth.

What we need more than anything is to make sure boys and girls are taught to respect themselves. 

As a young man beyond your years Stefan, you understand there are consequences to your actions. While this educational experience may be intellectually enriching you also may be subjected to hearing, witnessing, or partaking in things you never encountered before, in the end, I would ask you to evaluate the importance of living in your truth by being an honorable young man and act accordingly.

The key to that passage is that every female is a part of someone’s family and on the Universal level, a child of God.

I think some of this stems from a lack of education. Not enough parents teach their children the differences between the thinking minds of men and women. I recently found out about a man I know who never shared the facts of life with his one child, a son who is now 21! I couldn't believe the lack of parenting.

Back to this news story. If this man seeks counseling which he should it would be beneficial to ask himself; would he want someone speaking or acting out the way he has done to his grandmother, mother, sister, wife, daughter, aunt, or niece?

If more men asked themselves that question before they acted out they’d have an opportunity to stop and reflect. Silence bridges the gap to understanding and would assist in evaluating the difference between a compliment, a crude remark, and vulgarity.  They’d come to respect women and gain respect for themselves.